Tuesday, December 18, 2012

GET OUT OF YOUR WAY


Zig Ziglar once said, “Man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.”  I was at a martial arts seminar one time when the moderator asked, “What is your biggest frustration as a teacher?”  I was fascinated by the various answers; some I agreed with, others not. My answer was, “being able to see greatness in people and not being able to help them see it.”

As a teacher there is nothing more frustrating than seeing unrealized potential and untapped greatness. Inevitably it is the student that quits on themselves that makes me obsess for weeks. What did I say, what didn’t I say, and what could I have said to better serve this person? My years of teaching experience tell me it is always people getting in their own way. It is their self doubt, fear of failure, or even fear of success.

That may sound like an odd thing to be afraid of: success. After all, isn’t that what we are all after, no matter what our pursuits might be? We all want success. Sometimes, however, the thought of actually achieving what you want can be more daunting than the work it took to get there. Sometimes the thought of what to do next after you have accomplished the thing you have poured all your energies into for so long can be so intimidating that we subconsciously self sabotage.

Recognizing our own potential is the first and most essential step towards living it. If you set a goal for yourself but don’t actually believe you can achieve it, you have already given up. Belief in yourself is the foundation upon which you must build all of your endeavors. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else is going to believe in you.

Trees grow toward the sky because that is what trees are meant to do. Storm clouds drop rain across the land because that is what clouds do. Ralph Marston said it best about people: “In short, you are destined to achieve. Get your excuses, fears and doubts out of the way and allow that destiny to fully unfold. ” Think of your end goal as reality; it is what you are meant to do. It is as natural as tress growing or rain falling. Don’t allow room for even the slightest doubt.

How can you help your children to realize their full potential? The best thing you can do for them is to be a source of encouragement and support. Encourage them to try new things, especially if they are outside of their comfort zone. When they fail (or at least perceive that they have failed) point out all of the great elements of their attempt and help them improve in the areas where they are weak. Most of all, help them to have a positive attitude and believe that success is a part of their reality.

For example, say your child is doing poorly in math. For weeks he studies hard, does all the homework, and pays attention in class. After the next test his grades still haven’t improved. He thinks, “I’ll never be good at math.” That attitude alone could be what is keeping him from achieving his full potential. He must think “I am good at math,” before he has the slightest chance of actually being so.

It can be hard at times, but we have to remember to stay out of our own way. Believe that success is a part of your destiny and it will come to you.

Contributed by Master Instructor of Action Karate and Author Solomon Brenner- Black Belt Parenting. To set up speaking engagement please call 215.355.5003

Thursday, December 13, 2012

WHO PACKS YOUR PARACHUTE?


Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason.

Charles Plumb, a US Naval Academy graduate, was a jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied.

Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man grabbed his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"

Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb kept wondering what the man might have looked like in a Navy uniform. He wondered how many times he might have seen him and not even said good morning, how are you or anything, because you see, he was a fighter pilot and the man was just a sailor.
Plumb thought of the many hours that sailor had spent in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he did not know.

Now Plumb asks his audience, "Who is packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day.

Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down. As you go through your week, month, and year, recognize the people who have packed your parachute and enabled you to get where you are today!

Contributed by Solomon Brenner Author of Black Belt Parenting - "The Art of Raising Your Child for Success"